Reconnecting with Yourself After Motherhood in 5 Steps
Mama, I want to tell you that motherhood is a beautiful, life-changing experience. But let's be honest, it can also feel like you've lost a part of yourself between the sleepless nights and the endless requests for snacks. With the daily juggle of responsibilities, it's easy to forget the woman you were before you became a mom. There may be days when you struggle with this shift from being a mom to the woman you used to be. The days now revolve around caring for others, leaving little time for yourself, interests, dreams, and passions. These may get put on the back burner. You may also feel pressure to always be there for your family, making it feel like a selfish act to have any personal time. You are the one who is always doing everything, or at least that's the pressure you feel to have everything in place. But here's the truth: you are still you and allowed to evolve while still holding on to parts of yourself that make you feel alive.
If you've been feeling this disconnect, here are a few simple steps to help you rediscover your passions, hobbies, and purpose. Let’s explore five steps that you can take to rediscover those passions, hobbies, and purpose because you, Mama, deserve to live your best life. You deserve to be the mom you want to be and the woman you want to be outside of motherhood.
Step 1: Acknowledge That You've Changed (And That’s Okay!)
The woman you were before motherhood is not lost. She is transformed. Instead of mourning the past version of yourself, embrace the growth and wisdom that come with motherhood. When I first became a mom, I was thrilled to be the mother of a sweet little girl. It took a few months to realize that I had wrapped my identity around being a Mama only. It took even longer to realize that I wanted more than to be just Mama, and that my daughter deserved to see me be more than that. As time has passed, my little one is growing, and I have started to find who I am outside of motherhood again.
Action Step: Reflect on how you've grown since becoming a mom. Write down three ways you've changed for the better. Perhaps it's prioritizing your health by taking walks with your baby. Maybe it's reading during nap time. Whatever it is, embrace that you are evolving, and that's okay.
Step 2: Identify What Lit You Up Before Kids
What did you love doing before motherhood? Was it reading, painting, traveling, dancing, or working on passion projects? These things don't have to disappear just because you're a mom now. You can find ways to integrate them into your life. Before I had Little Miss, I loved going to coffee shops, being with people, teaching, reading, and learning. So, I decided to start reading again in small increments. I started going for coffee with my daughter and friends. These small actions helped me slowly regain my pre-motherhood self.
Action Step: Make a list of 3-5 things that bring you joy. Choose one and schedule time this week to do it, even if it's just 10 minutes.
Step 3: Create Small Moments Just for You
Self-care doesn't have to mean long spa days or expensive trips. It can be as simple as enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, journaling, or taking a solo walk. Prioritizing these moments helps you feel more connected to yourself. I have started this recently, as my daughter is approaching two. It makes me feel like me again. I get up earlier than she, usually an hour earlier. Sometimes, she wakes up at the same time I do, but I work with that because that's what motherhood is—you work with what you have and do the best you can. But I get up, do daily devotions, connect with God, and then start my self-care with exercise and reading a self-help or development book.
Action Step: Pick one small self-care habit and commit to doing it daily for the next week. If self-care right now looks like taking a shower or washing your face, that’s okay too! Just choose something that nourishes you.
Step 4: Set Goals Beyond Motherhood
Motherhood is fulfilling, but you are also allowed to dream and grow beyond it. Whether it’s learning a new skill, launching a business, or revisiting an old passion, permit yourself to set personal goals. I have seen this in my own life. Motherhood was so fulfilling, but it became all that I was. I didn’t know who I was outside of motherhood anymore. I didn’t like that, and I didn’t want to be that example to my daughter. I wanted to be the example of an independent, strong, God-fearing woman who loves others. So, I set aside my fears, my doubts, and others' opinions. I jumped feet first and slowly started building my personal goals, which have now grown into the business you see today.
Action Step: Write down one personal goal—big or small- that excites you. Take the first step toward making it happen today.
Step 5: Find a Support System
Reconnecting with yourself doesn’t mean doing it alone. Surround yourself with uplifting people who inspire you, whether they are supportive friends, fellow moms, or members of an online community. Find your people, Mama! It will make the journey of motherhood so much more fulfilling than walking alone. Initially, I spent 2 hours alone or with friends to initiate the support process. It was either going to coffee, making goals, reading, or meeting people at coffee shops. That helped my motherhood journey—and continues to do so. I am rediscovering who I am through the friendships I cultivate.
Action Step: Reach out to a friend or join a group that aligns with your interests. A little encouragement goes a long way, and finding understanding in your season of life is genuinely uplifting.
Mama, you are not just a mom. You are a woman with dreams, passions, and a unique purpose! It’s time to reconnect with yourself and rediscover who you are beyond motherhood.
